I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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