Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
