This gyro tastes like lonliness
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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