Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
