He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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