Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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