I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
