Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize