im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
