Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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