I've blown a few things in my day
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
