I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
