dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
