I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
