She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize