She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
