Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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