Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
