I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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