I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize