We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
