ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
