Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
