Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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