So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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