the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
