You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize