question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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