He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
