Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
