found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
