im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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