please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
