you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
