Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
