The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
