God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
