is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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