Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
