Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
