these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
