You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize