Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
No stitches, just platelets and will power
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
