Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
