i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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