Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
