But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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