New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
