i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
