Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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