Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
