Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
