I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
