I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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