Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You ate ashes out of my bong
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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