I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize