I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
