dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
