we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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